Home Girl Blog

I Heart Children's Theatre

One of the things I love about children's theatre is the learning opportunities it presents. I took Zack to see Stories of Frog & Toad at Scottish Rite Theatre Sunday. On the drive home from the show, my son had so many questions about frogs and toads, and so many guesses about ways they might be different and ways they might be alike. Taking him to the show was not only entertainng (we heart live theatre), but was a great springboard for our homeschool science lesson this week! I'm also going to sneakily move our copy of a collection of stories of frog and toad to the top of his bedroom book pile and coincidentally notice that 'hey, we just saw this play the other day--wouldn't it be fun to read some of these?' I bought the book years ago, and maybe finally he'll show interest in reading one of my favorite classic storybooks.

Continue reading for my review of the show...

Homeschool Cam: LEGO's Oy! And Also Yay!

My son has always tinkered, but has never been interested in building anything according to specs. He has built simple exact models maybe twice in his six years of life. He has gotten LEGO sets for his birthdays over the years and has always stacked them in his closet. Today he wanted to "engineer something" so we pulled out one of his sets.

I really want him to learn things on his own as much as possible. In Brain Blast Academy (our homeschool) I usually give him instructions and tools and allow him to struggle and explore and learn on his own, intervening only when he has exhausted his own efforts and resources. So when he asked to build, I knew it would require all the patience I have within me and all the class time we had scheduled today.

I had him sort the pieces out by color. While he did that, I said a little silent prayer for patience. For real.

I had him remove the instructions and explained how to read and follow them. I talked him through pulling out pieces for the first step and assembling the first unit and had him talk me through the process and assemble the next one. He finished the third set of instructions alone in private. The space vehicle will be complete in twelve steps, and the three he did today took almost two hours. His fine motor skills are not the greatest, but getting better, but I'm happy to report that there were no tears during this very long process today, both our attitudes remained positive and he worked with his body at the table the whole time! All this is kinda major, y'all. This is a kid who would melt down because the the G he just wrote looks like a 6...full meltdown. So my little perfectionist worked almost two full hours on something new, made a hundred mistakes along the way and zero tears, zero sackcloths, zero ashes. So yeah, major. 

He understands that this whole process may take a couple of weeks to complete. My wish is that he will ask to work on it again soon without me having to prompt him. Then I'll know we're really entering a stage where he looks forward to challenging himself. We power through my assignments, but he really shines when his own internal spark fires. My kid does his best work when it's his own decision to work on something. 

It's really important to me that my son find and follow internal motivation to navigate through his own educational process. The way he worked today gives me real hope.

So homeschool today was play. Zack was really happy to play on a school day. He proudly announced that he was using math to figure out where the bricks were supposed to go because he had to count spaces, so he was actually learning and playing. I told him that was a great observation and thought to myself, boy, you have no idea how much you're really learning today.  

Follow our Homeschool Cam photo album on Facebook. 

Listen: Marsha Ambrosius- Fvck & Love

image from http://www.marshaambrosiusmusic.com

Just...

So dirty. Some music is just good for nothing but increasing the transmission of sexually trasmitted diseases and also potentially unwanted pregnancies. *And, secretly, I love it. 

*I totally do not support irresponsible sex practices, but this is clearly happening. 

A Kinda Judgy Post Blaming Moms For Their Boys Who Like Girl Stuff

In case y'all aren't familiar with the story, a nine year old boy in North Carolina was bullied for bringing a My Little Pony backpack to school to the point where the school asked him to no longer bring the backpack. That full story can be found here.

Every few months, we see stories like these where boys push gender norm limits--wearing pink dresses, for example. Every time I'm generally annoyed with the parents, who almost always have some kind of agenda of their own and make their kid the poster child for it. I feel 20% guilty for blaming the parents so hard, because as a parent, I know we're all just trying to do the best we can. Still, the other 80% of me is pissed because it's our jobs as parents to protect our kids, not put our social and political junk on them. This North Carolina mom totally threw her child to the wolves. Following are more of my thoughts on this. 

Five Friday Fabs From The Interweb

The Internet gave gifts this week. These are my favorites.

1. Beyoncé fans are the most talented. She posts videos of her fans being awesome on Facebook all the time. This one is just...just all of everything.

2. The POTUS and Zach Gallifianakis made internet magic this week on the latest episode of Between Two Ferns. POTUS got jokes. Also, I laughed out loud when Zach corrected Obama's dig with "horizontals". 

3. Jimmy Fallon consistently wins TV. 

 4. New music from Janelle Monae for Rio 2 Soundtrack came out this week. Love. 

5. Have You Heard Of The Hot New Vine Meme Called #Whaling? Check our BuzzFeed's collection of the most bizarre highlights from Vine here.

You're welcome,

Three Random Confessions of a House of Cards Binge Watcher

My first night watching House of Cards was a total accident. I already had insomnia and when I opened the iPad, the Netflix app was open. I switched it from Zack's profile to mine and House of Cards was staring me right in the face. I needed to watch something that I could fall asleep to. So I pressed play on episode 1 season 1. Then by 6:30 am, I was wondering what it said about me that I couldn't just tell Netflix to stop playing the next episode. For whatever reason, I lacked the ability to press pause or even just to close the iPad. I couldn't do it. Until 6:30 am. I have a definite problem, I'm convinced I have a problem, because I was up until at least 4 am the following nights doing the same damn thing! I'm glad Netflix releases complete seasons, because it's better for me to be sleep deprived for a few days than to be completely obsessed for months on end. I haven't known this feeling since Season 2.5 of Scandal before Pope and Associates stopped fixing things and the show became a soap opera. House of Cards filled a void for me that I didn't even know existed. It's such a smartly written show. The casting, the performances, the framing of the shots, the music, the storyline movement, the sub plots--every aspect of the show makes me feel like they know that I went to college! They know I can handle it all. They know I'm smart, or at least I use to be before I discovered that Nick Jr. was even a thing. I feel like I may have crossed over from regular fandom into something a bit more shameful (similar to my standom of Beyoncé) that I probably should not reveal completely to anybody because they just wouldn't get it. I always feel a little bit better though, when I share the tip of my fan iceberg with y'all and receive reassurance that I'm not alone. So, here are my three confessions.

1. Watching the show makes me wish I had someplace to go where I had to dress like I shop at Brooks Brothers.
   
   
2. I feel kinda silly watching every frame hoping that Congressman Frank Underwood would talk to the camera this time.
   
   
               gifs by by wifflegif.com
   
   The whole 45 minutes, whenever he starts walking or stops walking I'm like, please let this be it--talk to me, Francis! Like a puppy watching his owner eat a bacon sandwich just hoping a piece would fall to the floor. Kinda pathetic. 
   
   
3. Although she hasn't so far, I really want to hear from Claire Underwood, Frank's wife, performed by Robin Wright. Sidebar: Robin Wright is the only actress other than Cate Blanchett (if you saw her in Blue Jasmine, you know why she won the big Oscar for it and probably felt every ounce of her anxiety. I wanted to smoke a cigarette after leaving that movie and I don't even smoke!), who can spend a solid sixty seconds on screen in deep thought, creased forehead and rubbing her hands together and communicate more than most actresses can with sixty seconds worth of lines. If you need more proof than her performance on House of Cards, I give you, the Supermarket Scene from Nine Lives. Claire is always so composed and so deep in thought. Her internal world must be so rich and complex and I want in! Talk to us, Claire! Look at the camera and let us in, Claire! LET US IN!

Bonus Confession: I find Kevin Spacey to be very sexy. Blame 72% of that on his role in The Usual Suspects and just deal with the rest.

I'm a few episodes into season 2 and am trying to be more responsible with my viewing. I started watching the minute my son was in bed tonight and I'm stopping Netflix after the third episode plays. Three episodes a day is my limit. Hopefully I will stick with it. But it's almost 11 pm and my third episode is almost finished and it's ONLY 11 PM! That's SO early! But I'm going to close the iPad, go into the bathroom and examine the dark circles under my eyes and hope that convinces me to leave Netflix alone tonight. 

Did House of Cards take over anybody else's life? It can't be just me. Please don't let it just be me. 

My Mickey Mouse & Monsters Inc. Mashup Disney Side Home Celebration & Giveaway

So this happened. I was selected to participate in the Disney Side Home Celebration campaign. I received an awesome official Disney Traveler suitcase from sponsor, American Tourister. It's purple, my favorite color, which they learned when I filled out the application to be considered for the campaign, courtesy Mom Select via Blogalicious B-Link. It arrived full of everything I would need, thanks to Disney Parks, to throw a Mickey Mouse themed party as well as party favors for guests and a few other gifts por moi.

If y'all have learned anything about me over the years, you know that I was a reluctant Disney fan. I made sure to tell Disney Parks this on my application, so it's all good--we can talk like family. I didn't grow up on Disney. Wonder Woman, Looney Tunes (wait--is that Disney?) and The Smurfs were my jams. I've never been to Disneyland. I've never been into Disney princesses. The only Disney princess movies I have seen are The Little Mermaid and Mulan and I just watched Mulan a couple of years ago after me and my now six year old son read the book. I celebrated the first black Disney princess--haven't seen the film yet, but my son's first and favorite Leapster game (I won the Leapster 2 and the game at Blogolicious one year) is Princess and The Frog. My pre-parenthood Disney movie watching happened in college. Lion King and it's soundtrack are forever my Disney all time favorite everythings. Because I didn't grow up on Disney, when I had my son, I had no intention of growing him up on Disney. But one day he saw Lightening McQueen on something someplace and about a year after that saw him moving and talking on a television in kid care while I was at the gym and resistance was futile after that point. My son is a car fanatic (that is not an understatement) and since Cars came out and Wall-E and Pixar came into my sons realm of exposure, we have not missed a Disney beat. We did go to see Frozen and those sisters totally opened my heart to Disney Princess movies. So that's my history with Disney. 

When I received my suitcase with everything for a Mickey Mouse party, I knew I couldn't throw a Mickey Mouse party. So I thought to mix Mickey with Monster's Inc. because it was a cool mix of classic Diseny and modern Disney Pixar and the alliteration in Mickey Mouse & Monsters Inc. Mashup made for a good title on the evite and on this blog post. 

Created with images from Disney and Disney Pixar

Keep reading for a brief rundown of my Disney Side Home Celebration party elements and more details on how to enter my Disney Mickey and Minnie Art Memorabilia giveaway.

This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. Full disclosure statement in my sidebar. 

20 Children's Books Featuring Black Characters Every Child Should Read

Black History Month is over, but that doesn't mean we have to stop reading about the contributions of African Americans to our country. It does mean we should keep the conversation going. 

Last month, we probably had lots of conversations and classes about African Americans in historical contexts, but it's important to remember that we all have shared experiences everyday as Americans. Our children are so lucky--they are not privy to news headlines and media messages that don't always protray African Americans in the best light. All that stuff awaits them years down the road; for now, we get to head off all those messages with more realistic ones. All kids love puppies, are anxious about some aspect of school life, meet new babies for the first time and have best friends. Thousands of kids books confirm that. My son's growing library consists of lots of classics. He was an early reader and I was so busy buying the books on every must-read kids list that I failed to notice how absent his growing book collection was of reflections of himself. 

Following are just a few of the books I found, many of which I have read, others I can't wait to read and all of which I am thrilled to be sharing with you all today.  They are picture books, history books and chapter book series that will expertly diversify every child's book collection. 

This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. See Full Disclosure statement in my sidebar. 

I'm A Sapiosexual and I Know It

Sapiosexual (n)- a person who is sexually attracted to intelligence in others.

Just like any person with eyesight, I know how to appreciate the aesthetics of a good looking man. But I've never connected emotionally with looks. Just like any person, certain physical characteristics appeal to me more than others like dark skin, strong shoulders, hyper-masculine facial features like a strong nose, chin and brow bone, and full lips. That's a good start for me on any day, but it's not the most important thing.

I remember freshman year in college, my frends thinking I was crazy because I refused the affections of a very beautiful latino boy I went to high school with. They met him at the mall and when he found out they knew me, he told them how much he loved me and they later told me I was crazy for not giving him the time of day. He found out where I lived on campus and showed up several days in a row begging me to be his girlfriend. He was good-looking, but so what? He simply wasn't very bright. There was another boy in my homeroom class in high school who was really cute, but he didn't make very good grades and he just didn't sound intelligent when he spoke. He wrote me love letters with terrible grammatical errors almost daily and just made things worse for himself. He stole a kiss from me one day at our lockers and after that, he was basically dead to me.

At the time, I was crushing on my friend of mine from middle school. He was not attractive by any means to anybody, but I had the biggest crush on him. We rode the bus together in middle school and kept in touch during high school. I was so excited when I learned we would be in college together and we wasted no time memorizing each others' schedules and spending every free moment on campus together. He was oblivious. He was always the smartest boy in school, definitely the most interesting person I knew and I never wanted our conversations to end. Only two people knew how much I liked him. I never told him because he was a Jahovah's Witness and I knew that we could only be friends as long as I allowed him to witness to me. He told me so. We were together on campus so much that even the cafeteria staffers and campus custodians would ask if we were a couple. I was aware that we were an odd pair--I was super hot in college--but we weren't a couple. I wanted us to be and I think we reached that point in a friendship like ours where you clearly become boyfriend and girlfriend, and I think it scared him a lot. He was a strict Jahovah's Witness and there was no way we could continue to be such close friends after that.

After freshman year, he transferred to another school and we slowly fell out of touch. Two years later, my cousin, who went to school with him, told me that she told him how much I loved him. I was shocked and embarrassed, but relieved, because at least now he knew. I always worked in the campus library during college and right before graduation, he found me shelving books on the top floor--where he would find me freshman year when I was working and keep me company. It had been three years since I had seen him and I was all but engaged to my husband by that time, but when I saw him, books dropped, hands on mouth, hands over heart, screech, sprint, jump, hug. Neither one of us could stop smiling and laughing. He was actually handsome now! He was always taller than me, but was chubby before and now he was slim, revealing all the important bones in a man's face. His braces were off, revealing a great smile. He claimed he was at our library to find a book that wasn't on his campus, which I never bought because his school's library was way superior to ours. I knew he just wanted to see me, and to let me see his new handsome self. My friends never understood why I was so smitten with him, but he was SO smart! 

When I met my husband, my sophomore year in college, his freshman year, I knew he had joined some of our other friends from St. Vincent at college. When I met him, my first impression was wow, he really likes me. If we were cartoons, his tongue would have hit the ground and I'd have seen the the hearts in his eyes and the birds and stars flying around his head. His friends later confirmed that it was love at first sight. I was amused, but that's basically it. After a few more encounters and conversations, I learned that he was super smart in school back in St. Vincent and that's how he got to come to college here. He told me how he had never touched a computer back home, but knew he wanted to program them and so picked the hardest major in our very competitive Engineering program. I found I always left our conversations enriched somehow and having learned about something that I didn't know before. During those conversations, you would have seen the hearts in my eyes. I'd overhear him studying and talking in computer languages to his friends and it really turned me on. Even now, I joke about how happy I am when he decides to work from home because I get to eavesdrop on his computer programming phone calls that sound like a Star Trek language to me--it's like fore-foreplay. Between you and me, I think he purposefully talks extra loud to make sure I'm getting an ear-full. He knows what's good for him. I really like a man who knows a lot about one thing and a little bit about a lot of other things. When Beyoncé's Crazy in Love came out all I could say was amen when she said, "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew. It's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you..." He's SO smart! 

Once, I met a childhood friend of my husband who was even smarter than him and had gone to one of the best universities in the world and had double-majored in insanely hard subjects and had travelled the world and excelled in sports. I remember thinking he was just an all around superior human--physically and mentally exceptional. We all went out and I ended up sitting next to his friend at dinner and we talked (too much) the whole evening. He was SO smart! After dinner, I told my husband, I just met his competition and he'd better keep his friend away from me. I was joking but kinda serious and really glad we lived in different countries.

When I really realized my attraction to intelligence was really real, and was indeed a sexual attraction was this one time when my husband and I took Zack to a neurologist. Zack was 4 months old at the time. Due to an irregularity in his initial examination when he was born, we had been referred to a top pediatric neurosurgeon--in the country--from Duke--a black man--to take a look at Zack to see what next steps should be. I was already intrigued and impressed, then he came into the exam room. He addressed my husband mostly since I was, for the most part, dumbfounded. He began explaining what we were dealing with and the need for next steps and my husband was completing his sentences and conversing with this neurosurgeon and I saw a mutual respect emerge between them as the doctor realized my husband had actually paid attention in Biology or Anatomy or whatever and knew what he was talking about. I was in this small exam room sitting between two dark skinned, intelligent men tossing words and phrases around that I didn't completely follow and I started to sweat a little bit in my arm pits and other grown up places and they both became a swirling mass of big shoulders and strong noses and brains and I was literally turned on. Like, for real. I called my best friend after that visit to confess and we had a good laugh about it. 

When I found out that there was a new word to categorize me and that I was not alone, I felt a little less strange. I am a Sapiosexual. If I hadn't met my husband in college, I wonder if I would have trolled grad school happy hours for dates. I'm actually glad that the strongest part of my attraction to my husband (or guys before him) is not on the outside. When we met, I actually was not physically attracted to him. The more we talked and the bigger his chest and shoulders got, the more attracted I was to him inside and out. Although I do feel like I have won the husband lottery in those aspects, his appeal has always been intellectual. Looks fade, change, or can be altered in a minute.

Save the pretty face for somebody else, just give me them brains! 

What Does What You're Reading Say About Your Sex Life?

What you are reading (probably) has nothing to do with your sex life, but this is a fun thing to do. I saw it on Facebook and my reply was way too long to post on Facebook without looking like I have nothing better to do than play along with random Facebook games at seven o'clock at night when I do have better things to do like update my blog, which hasn't been updated since MLK Day.

This was fun.

So the pic says to open the book nearest you to page 45 and the first sentence explains your love life. Here's my answer:

"For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love. (Philemon 7)"

1. Awwww!
2. I had to google to make sure that Philemon was even a real book in the bible and I basically memorized the bible as a kid, so...
3. This is the first and last time y'all will see me quote the bible on here except I'm sure I must have posted "Jesus wept" at some point over the years.
4. I was sitting next to my husband's side of the bed. We're both cool with Jesus wanting us for sunbeams, but sunbeams come custom fit for people like my husband and they're rarely made like me. I'm more of a cumulus cloud type. If you got the Nirvana reference, you're probably a cumulus cloud type too. Twinkies! 
5. If I were sitting on my side of the bed, the response would have been:

"The White Way is practiced by most African Americans; it assumes that while society places undue burdens on young black men--police harassment, severe sentencing in juvenile courts, and low expectations for academic performance – it is basically "fair" to them, and if problems do arise, they can be solved within a system that is relatively stable and biased." 

If you're wondering what we are reading...

The book on my husband's side of the bed is The Love Dare, as featured in that Christian movie Fireproof (your marriage), which your church probably asked the married couples to watch together and discuss.

 

The book on my side is The Warrior Method: A Parent's Guide to Rearing Healthy Black Boys, which is a book you'd probably read if you're a parent of a black boy, but you'd only bring it up in discussions with people who don't need you to explain why you're reading it. 

So there. 

I'm not sure what these say about our love life, but if these books were the only things we left behind, whomever discovered them would find a pretty good representation of who we were.

What does what you're reading say about you? 

Martin Luther King, Jr. was here, but we're not there yet.

Note: I post this annually, but there's an important excerpt and update this time. 

Where ever you are today (well, not today-today, because we all come together for rallies and marches and speeches today, but I mean on a regular "today"), look around and there is a pretty good chance that, had it not been for Martin Luther King, Jr. (and granted, other leaders of the American civil rights movement), your surroundings might look a little bit different. Some folks' surroundings (especially in places down here in TX) haven't changed much at all. Some people are grateful for the changes, some are resentful. Either way, we have come a long way and still have a long way to go towards racial, social and gender equality in this country. 

Martin Luther King, Jr. understood that people were not going to change fast enough for the social climate to change back then. He got that we are a nation of laws (unfair as they were) and that it is more important to appeal to the courts (white as they were) than to the cold hearts of fellow Americans who were perfectly fine with the way things were. So they fought. And some laws changed. Today, the fight continues and the changes continue. As much as we would love to look to the White House, now inhabited by a black family, and say we are finally looking down from King's mountaintop , it is imperative that we recognize that we are not there yet. 

And that's OKAY. For every 60, 70, 80 year old black person still harboring resentment from growing up and living in perpetual nobodiness, there are just as many or more 60, 70, 80 year old white folks still harboring resentment for the laws that made it possible for blacks to be treated like human beings. And these black and white people have raised children and their friends have raised children, and have very likely imparted their beliefs of racial inferiority or superiority to those children. So for every 20, 30, 40 year old black person who achieves a measurable level of education and success, there are just as many or more 20,30, 40 year old white folks who think their own ability to achieve is threatened by affirmative action. White privilege is alive and very real. Racism is alive and very real. We have made great strides, but we are not there yet.

Here is an excerpt from an essay I ran across this week from Daily Kos. It talks about King's most important accomplishment and it has nothing to do with his speech or the march. The most poignant and powerful thing about this essay, which I encourage you to read in it's entirety, is that the person writing it was there. This wasn't that long ago. We're still in healing mode, as a nation, but especially as black people: 

"This is going to sound awful and perhaps a stain on my late father's memory, but when I was little, before the civil rights movement, my father taught me many, many humiliating practices in order to prevent the random, terroristic, berserk behavior of white people. The one I remember most is that when walking down the street in New York City side by side, hand in hand with my hero-father, if a white woman approached on the same sidewalk, I was to take off my hat and walk behind my father, because he had been taught in the south that black males for some reason were supposed to walk single file in the presence of any white lady. This was just one of many humiliating practices we were taught to prevent white people from going berserk. I remember a huge family reunion one August with my aunts and uncles and cousins gathered around my grandparent's vast breakfast table laden with food from the farm, and the state troopers drove up to the house with a car full of rifles and shotguns, and everyone went kind of weirdly blank. They put on the masks that black people used back then to not provoke white berserkness. My strong, valiant, self educated, articulate uncles, whom I adored, became shuffling, Step-N-Fetchits to avoid provoking the white men. Fortunately the troopers were only looking for an escaped convict. Afterward, the women, my aunts, were furious at the humiliating performance of the men, and said so, something that even a child could understand." Full Essay Here. 

There might be a mountaintop up there, but we have not seen it. A few more generations from now, maybe hearts and minds will catch up with the laws and there might actually be racial, social and gender equality in the United States. Hope is enough for politicians and activists and citizens to keep fighting and winning awesome, small battles that amount to awesome, big changes. Hope is good for movement and growth and momentum. 

I said all that to say that laws change overnight. People, intellectual values and grand sweeping ideas on race and equality do not. Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best,  "It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important.”

I'm just sayin'.

I Am Really Into The Hunger Games

I could have titled this post 'I'm Obsessed With Hunger Games', but that would imply that my deep interest is completely out of my control, but it is not because I can stop whenever I want. Hunger Games was my introduction to dystopian fiction. Immediately after I finished the trilogy, I googled and took the advice of a friend and "read" Divergent. The quotation marks are because I finished the whole trilogy via audio book in like three days, which means I did nothing else with my life during that time other than make sure my son didn't starve. We're gonna talk about Divergent later, because if Hunger Games is my boo, then Divergent is my side-boo.

At first I had decided not to blog about my love for all things Hunger Games--the books, films and actors, but I figure it's better to let it out in small doses than keep it bottled up inside, in which case, it would surely explode into some extreme fan rant of a post that might leave you guys thinking I need some kind of intervention. So instead, I'll post little Hunger Games love nuggets throughout the year like the fact that I'm planning to knit the cowl Katniss Everdeen wears in the opening scene of Catching Fire so I can wear it on Halloween when I will be Katniss Everdeen.

Spoiler Alert

If you haven't read the books and want to hold out for the last film in 2015 to find out how it ends (are you human?!) then stop reading now. Skip the next paragraph. 

If I become pregnant this year and am showing by Halloween, I will still knit the cowl, but will draw inspiration for my costume from Katniss as The Mockingjay and will be pregnant Katniss (she has Peeta's babies and they live happily ever after) this year, and Catching Fire Katniss with the cowl next Halloween. I can't be Catching Fire Katniss because I want to do a fan photo shoot dressed as her and I don't want a baby bump to be distracting. I digress--and have probably shared way too much already. 

End Spoiler Alert

I'm also probably going to be one of those crazy adult fans of these books for teenagers who gets tattoos inspired by them. I already know the quote and design I want from Hunger Games book 1, and am currently talking myself out of getting the ravens from Divergent. I'll try to keep most of my HG worship on my Pinterest board where I browse and pin items in bed during bouts of insomnia and dropping my iPhone on my face. In between the posts and pins and re-watching the movies and cast interviews on youtube, I'll keep my husband shaking his head as I knit my cowl, or hunt (pun intended) for perfect lace-up leather boots in my size for my Halloween Katniss, or watch Hunger Games for the fiftyleventh time on Netflix or make awesome observations like this one from a couple of weeks ago...

I saw this tree when we were hanging out in a park in our community. 

When we started walking through the trees, almost under my breath, I was like, "This reminds me of Hunger Games." Then a few moments later, we passed this tree. The second I saw it, I jumped a little bit and was like, "OMG, that's the PERfect spot to stash a bow and arrows!" I said this while looking at the tree in total shock and turned to my husband with my shock-face who just shook his head and agreed with me in an amused yet very unimpressed manner. That's the day I started my Pinterest board because much like my standom of Beyoncé, I can only share my in-person Hunger Games excitement with fans who are equally or more excited than I am. Since I'm different from my friends, that just leaves the fan sites. 

I could go on, but I'll spare you. Also, I won't close this post with Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor, but at least I got to write it right there. 

Until next time, 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I'm going to enjoy the next few days napping as much as possible and doing everything else in between meals and trips to the bathroom. 

Thanks so much for reading Home Girl Blog in 2013! 

See y'all in 2014! 

My Son Still Kinda Refuses To Not Believe In Santa

*Update* Zack still kinda doesn't believe and periodically asks, just to be sure, "Mom? Santa isn't real right? So, even if I'm not good sometimes, he really doesn't have a naughty list or anything like that, right?" 

Originally posted on Christmas Day 2011... 

Call me a grinch, but I don't want my son to believe in Santa. It is a waste of time, and feels like a terrible, drawn out practical joke. One day, he will find out that it was all a lie and what good does the whole believing in Santa thing do anyway. 

A few weeks ago I saw the Mission Impossible meets Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer film Arthur Christmas with my almost 4 year-old. It is an awesome little movie about how Santa and his elves get gifts under children's trees on Christmas Eve. That is how my son learned about Santa. A few days before Christmas, he asked me if Santa was going to bring his gifts through our fireplace while he was sleeping. Our conversation went something like this:

Him: Mom, will Santa bring my presents and put them under the tree while I'm sleeping on Christmas Eve so when I wake up I will see them and be happy?

Me: Well. Actually, mom and dad buy your gifts, wrap them up and put them under the tree. Santa is just pretend. You know, like Batman and Little Bill? Just pretend. So, he can't bring your presents because he's not real. 

Him: But mo'om! I LOVE Santa! I want Santa to bring my presents! 

Me: But he's just pretend, remember? 

Him: No, mom, I WANT SANTA! 

Me: Mmmkaaaaay? Ok. 

Him: *pumps fist* Yes! 

I tried. I guess I could have continued to try to convince him, but he was so insistent and I am not a monster. So I gave up, and let him have his not-pretend Santa. Unbeknownst to me at the time, not-pretend Santa would come in handy during the days leading up to Christmas. 

We are Christians, and are teaching our son about Jesus. I could talk about how confusing the concept of real Jesus/fake Santa is to a 3 year-old, but I'm not an expert on the topic.  My son, however displayed his depth of understanding at one point when he did proclaim that if Santa was pretend then Jesus was pretend too, because they're both "watching" (wink-wink) to see when I'm bad. My husband, who is a closer friend to Jesus than me, almost had a heart attack and tried explaining that Jesus is in fact real and that Christmas is his birthday...at which point my son said he wanted to give Jesus a race car for his birthday. And if Jesus is real and cares for him, then Jesus and Santa must be friends. So. I digress.

I must give props to not-pretend Santa because he did a much better job than mommy, daddy, and Jesus combined to get my son to walk the straight and narrow. I did not have to ask him twice to do anything! The first time I witnessed Santa's power was when Zack refused to take his nap...

Me: Zack, come into your room, it's time to rest up so you'll have energy for later.

Him: I have lots of energy! I don't WANT to take. my. nap. 

Me: Hmmm. I bet if I call Santa (because all parents have Santa's cell phone number), he wouldn't be to happy with your behavior right now. 

Him: NO! (He runs into the room.) Mommy, don't call Santa! Let's try again! (He leaves the room.) Ok mom, NOW tell me it's nap time again! (I did)...

Him: OKAAAY MOOOOM! (Runs into room and dives into bed. Score 1 for Santa)

For two whole days, Santa was my homeboy. How many times did I say, "Do I need to call Santa to tell him how you're behaving right now?"  Sometimes, when Zack would slip up, he would stop and say, "Um. Santa wouldn't like that too much, huh?"  Not-pretend Santa had my son, self-correcting! For one second, I was tempted to get an Elf on The Shelf--you know the little doll that looses it's magical powers if touched by a child and keeps an eye on the kids, comes to life and reports to Santa at night while everyone is asleep and moves to a different location in the house every day? The good-behavior payoff would be incredible, but to keep that up for a whole year would be kind of evil and ultimately, very creepy. 

I don't know what I'm gonna do after Christmas. #JudgeMe for using not-pretend Santa to my advantage, but I was drunk with power. Knowing my son, this puts a bit of a wrench in our 'behave well to please God and Jesus' thing. Zack is sure to question why Santa can't be real like Jesus, but he is just three years old. He has plenty of time decide what he's going to believe, but please, Dear Santa and Jesus, let him believe in Santa for the next 364 days. At least! Thanks and Amen. lol

Do you encourage your child to believe in Santa? Has it interfered at all if you're also teaching them about Jesus?

Pantene Pro-V Giveaway Winner + My Inspired Style Revealed

My Hairspiration (Inspired Styles)

I remember when Solange first went natural. Watching her natural hair journey has been inspirational, particularly because she has embraced her style during all the length-stages following her big chop. I also love that she has never been afraid to experiment with cool protective styles. Tomiko Fraser has been my inspiration since way before her big chop--I've followed her modeling career since I was a teenager and SO wanted to be her. Thanks to Facebook and Twitter I'm able to follow and be inspired by these ladies and their amazing personal style regularly. When I grow up... Tomiko, especially is like my Facebook life coach/fabulous sister-friend who lives out of town. 

I love a good afro side part, y'all. I haven't seen anyone with a short natural rock it better than Tomiko Fraser and Solange. I got permission from Tomiko (my Homegirl in my head) to borrow this mobile photo from her facebook page! 

I used new products from Pantene' Pro V  to create a hairstyle inspired by these looks! If you missed my first post about why Pantene created new products for natural hair, check it out here.  

Pantene Pro-V Giveaway + My Natural Hairspiration

Pantene, the World's #1 Hair Care Brand, is dedicated to keeping every woman's hair healthy, shiny and beautiful! I have used Pantene products off and on since returning to my natural hair in college--back when I was shopping around for products that I felt served my needs. I had my staples, but was still getting to know my hair and always trying new products, especially conditioners. These days, you can find one or two of their Relaxed & Natural products in my bathroom closet on any given day. Now, Pantene  introduces new haircare products, some, exclusively for natural hair! 

Keep reading to see the inspired style I will create using these products and to find out how you can enter to win a sweet bundle of Pantene Pro-V's newestof haircare products! 

Since I have natural hair, let's talk about my favorite products from Pantene's new offerings...

Why special products, specifically for our natural hair?

African American women with natural hair can have a tight curl pattern. Not only does it make it difficult for the scalp’s natural sebum to moisturize the hair, it can be very difficult to comb through because it tangles easily. Although natural hair hasn’t gone through a chemical change, it is still prone to dryness which can give hair a lackluster appearance. The Pantene Pro-V Truly Natural products are designed specifically for the unique needs of natural hair, leaving it moisturized, shiny and healthy.

The Products

Some of my favorite new products from Pantene Pro-V include:

• CO-WASH Cleansing Conditioner
• Deep Conditioner
• Clarifying Shanpoo (SO important, especially when co-washing)
• Defining Curls Styling CUSTARD
• Shine Serum with ARGON OIL
• Advanced Keratin Repair KERAGLOSS Oil Mist (not pictured above)
• Ultimate 10 BB CRÈME, 10 in 1 Beauty Balm for natural hair (not pictured above)

Some other great products I've been intorduced to, and that one lucky winner will receive in addition to the ones above include:

• No Crunch Curls Whip (moisturizer and styling mousse for curly hair)
• Pantene Pro-V Stylers Hairspray 1 (Lightweight hold for 24 hours)

 

Book Review + Giveaway! Curlilocks and the Three Pink Pandas by Yolanda King

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending the cutest book reading ever! It took place in The Little Yellow House, formally known as Dedrick-Hamilton House connected to the Capital City African American Chamber of Commerce.

SUPER appropriate, because the house central to the plot in the most adorable adaptation of Goldielocks and the Three Bears was also a little yellow house! See?

How cute is that? Here are a few pics from the reading...

Listen: Unlocking The Truth

A couple of my friends had mentioned these 12 year olds to me, but I didn't really learn about them until they were in Austin for the Fun Fun Fun Fest this fall. They are insanely talented musicians, particularly for kids their age. I haven't seen their academic performances mentioned in any of the articles I've read about them. I just really want them to also be doing well in school. I know that the one size fits all public schools aren't designed for everyone, especially exceptional children, to do well, but I still just want to read someplace that they are excellent students. Don't judge me. I'm a product of my society--I just need to read that these little 12 year old black boys are doing great in school, any school, public school, homeschool, unschool. I digress. Moving on. 

Watch this awesome performance from Totally Biased. 

 

Check out this short interview documentary by The Avant Garde Diaries:

 

 

For everything you ever wanted to know about these kids, check out their website HERE. 

 

I'm just all kinds of impressed. 

National Geographic Kids Snow Day

Austin's week basking in the spotlight as National Geographic Kids' Weird But True Town of 2013 is over, but we will always have the memories. Also, Austinites, don't forget to enter my Giveaway of a year subscription to National Geographic Kids Magazine.

The highlight of the week was North Pole in the South Snow Day. It was a giant patch of ice on the Rise School of Austin parking lot and the kids came, they saw, the conquered. I caught a few stray snow balls in the back of my right rib cage, but I took it like a mom. 

Pink Snowsuit! My author friend, Yolanda King of Curlilocks fame, wins for cutest pink thing ever! 

Brohams.

He totally hit me with one of those when I turned around. 

See?! Cutest pink thing ever! 

Get into the National Geographics Kids Weird But True world of books, magazines and apps on their website HERE. 

Giveaway: National Geographic Kids Magazine For One Lucky Austin Family

In case you missed it, Austin is National Geographic Kids Magazine's first ever Weird But True Town, and I'm Austin's NGKids Insider! There will be all kinds of awesome free fun and giveaways in Austin this week beginning on #WeirdWednesday, Dec 4 through Dec 8 and all the details are here. 

Totally Acceptable Alternative To Melt Downs

My five year old is very emotional. Sometimes when he gets upset, it is extremely difficult for him to stop crying or to calm down on his own. Over the years we have worked on calming methods that involve him recognizing when an episode is coming, acknowledging his feelings with specific words and beginning physical calming activities like hugging himself, closing his eyes and breathing deeply, changing his physical location by walking outside, etc. 

During one of his recent episodes he was upset and really didn't want to cry. So instead of crying, he Charlie Brown sad-walked away and layed upside down in the large chair and a half in his playroom with his back on the seat and legs on the back cushions and groaned. It was a terrible sound--kinda like wailing--like deep breathing really loudly, but I recognized that he was trying to rid himself of the negative feelings he was experiencing but didn't want to cry. After a few minutes of doing that, he called for me and told me he wasn't feeling very good and that he needed me. He was struggling to breathe normally and I could hear his voice cracking like he was fighting back an epic crying episode. But I'm trying to encourage him to manage his emotions without outside help, and told him very calmly that he would have to calm down on his own and that I knew he could do it. Again the wailing started and lasted about 5 minutes. I was glad to see him trying so hard, and it took a lot for me to listen to my kid in so much turmoil and not step in and fix it for him. Just as I was about to break down and go help him, the wailing stopped and he zoomed past me into his classroom (remember I homeschool). I heard him fidget with his pencil box. He draws all the time, and since I heard him singing and humming songs afer a while, I assumed he was drawing, but nope. 

About half an hour later he came and took my hand and pulled me in to where he had been working. On the way he said he felt much better and he figured out how to help himself. This is what he showed me... 

He's reading chapter books. He only recently started writing when I realized that phonics and spelling are two seperate skills, so I request a late-pass on the spelling lessons. 

Translation: Under a picture of himself on the couch moaning (see the "WAA" in the call out bubble) it says:

"I think there's something I can do and I've got it! That thing is writing. I love writing, yes I do. It is so much fun writing. Do you like to write?"

My boy is a happy child, but he also has a very complex and emotional inner world. I could not be happier that he openly seeks out ways to cope with the frustrations in his little life. I like that he expresses himself extremely well verbally, and by creating music and art--things that enhance the world around us and make life beautiful. That's way better than keeping all that stuff inside to become who knows what when it finally does comes out. 

This has only happened once. I hope we can skip all the wailing next time and just get right to the writing though. lol

I'm on the lookout now for an awesome journal for him. If Zack wants to write, then write he shall!

National Geographic Kids To Takover Austin

It's Official! National Geographic Kids has designated Austin as their first ever Weird But True Town Of The Year! And they've designated me as your Austin NGKids Insider!

I'll be all up on Twitter and IG with Insider pics and posts during their Austin takeover Dec 4-8, and will also be hosting a giveaway just for Austinites, but there are also ways for folks all over the Twitterverse to win prizes. More on that later.

National Geographic Kids is taking over Austin with awesome, free events during the first week of December. I have all the details you need to get into the middle of the action (Snow Day, anyone?) as well as how to enter to WIN cool daily prizes from your favorite local doughnut shop and enter to win an amazing iTechy Grand Prize from National Geographic Kids.

The fun kicks off a 4-day celebration of Austin in all her weird glory on #WeirdWednesday, Dec 4 through Sunday, Dec 8.

Mark Your Calendars for these FREE events!

Pizza Recipe For Kids With Allergies

No wheat, gluten, soy, casein, egg, dairy or preservatives!

*cue violin music* I have a kid with allergies. Not just an allergy here or there, but all the allergies. On top of that, he's sensitive to food preservatives, food dyes and salicylates (a natural pesticide found in some fruit and vegetables)—those things make him super hyper and emotional. If you have a child who is particularly hyperactive and emotional, I highly recommend checking out the Feingold Diet (aka ADHD diet). About three days after I made adjustments to Zack's diet based on the Feingold list, I had a brand new 4 year old. At first, it was difficult telling my son he couldn't have grapes anymore, but now he's perfectly content with just having pears, pear juice and occasionally a strawberry or two. Feeding a tiny human to keep him alive and growing with all those restrictions is hella stressful. Add to that the repeatedly taking him to birthday parties where he is not able to eat anything including the grape and apples, and you get a major first-world problem, my dear.

*still the violins, bring in the piano and cue the horns, crescendo* However, with all the natural and organic food alternatives available to us these days, there is hope. No more music references, but I enjoyed that--hope you did too.

Normally I bother people with the much shorter list of what my son CAN eat, rather than the list of foods he cannot. Here, I will list his allergies and I think you will understand why finding a pizza recipe (or any other recipe that is not rice, meat, raw greens, bean chips and flax milk) is blog-worthy.

So, yeah. I found dairy and soy-free pepperoni and cheese and wheat/gluten/egg-free pizza dough. While my son is sensitive to the salicylates found in tomatoes, after adding it back to his diet, I found that he can have small amounts of tomato ketchup and not be reduced to a puddle of emotions later. So there is sauce on this pizza recipe. However, the dough tastes so yummy alone, and the cheese melts so smoothly that a sauce-free pizza would still taste really really good.  

I scoured the shelves of several natural food grocery stores and read lots of labels and after doing a little happy dance when I had all the ingredients in hand, my son and I made our first pizza. I was fortunate to find all the ingredients I need for pizza in my neighborhood's Natural Grocers. Both Whole Foods and Natural Grocer change their alternative cheese and pepperoni options frequently, I have learned, but the replacements so far have been great allergy-proof options. Also, you'll be surprised how many non-perishable food items you can find in bulk on Amazon.com. Without further adu, I give you...

Every Allergy & Preservative-Free Pizza Recipe of Your Dreams

Ingredients 

Namaste Foods Gluten Free Pizza Crust Mix. It's also sugar free, and made in dedicated facility free of gluten, wheat, soy, corn, peanuts, tree nuts, dairy and casein. It's made from brown rice flour, tapioca flour and arrowroot flour primarily and is seasoned with garlic, onion and italian seasoning. Yep--there's rosemary in there. 

Organic Prairie Uncured Pepperoni. It's preservative, nitrite and nitrate free and contains certified organic and pasture raised beef and pork. I normally use Applegate brand, but Natural Grocer didn't have it the day I went in. Instead I found this Organic Prairie one and it's great. 

Daiya dairy, gluten, casein and soy free mozzarella shreds. 

Eden Organic Pizza and Pasta Sauce

Directions

Set oven to 450 degrees. For the dough, follow instructions on the box. Basically, combine 1 and a half cups of mix, 1 teaspoon oil of choice (I use avocado) and 1 and a fourth cups water and mix for 3 minutes with an electric mixer. Then spread the cake batter textured dough in pizza pan and bake for 20 minutes. 

It goes in looking like this...

And comes out looking like this...

Add whatever toppings you want. For us it was sauce and pepperoni, but do what you like. Return the pizza to the oven for 10-15 minutes to cook up and pizza's ready! 

Before...

After...

My five year old son loves it, definitely way more than his usual plain rice, meat and raw veggies, and he eats the whole pizza--every time, my husband and I are lucky to get one slice. 

Are you dying to try this recipe? Do you have a favorite everything-free pizza recipe that's different from this one? Tell us in the comments! 

Mangia! 

Listen: Zack's Latest Original Songs

Y'all remember how when Zack was 4 years old, he started to work out his pain and frustration through creating dark and moody songs and "playing" them on his acoustic guitar? I posted the two songs he made when he was 4 years old here. I think he made them in one day--apparently he was dealing with a lot that day. Then there are the two he made recently, again on the same day--when he's on, he's on. 

His Latest Songs

This one was inspired by his friendless summer camp days at the YMCA. Sometimes, unknowingly, parents don't always encourage their kids to gravitate towards or to embrace kids who are different. We live in a very white part of town and Zack was the only black kid in the basketball summer camp. He came home the first two days very sad because he said when he would try to talk or play with other kids they "ignored" him or "walked away" from him. If you know Zack, you already know he attracts people like a magnet and is extremely social. He has lots of friends--some from his past school and other activities, but most from my moms group. He always makes friends easily in the gym or drop-in playcare or randomly on the playground, which is why this surprised me. Unfortunately, some kids never see their families socialize or interact with people who don't look like them and they just don't know what to do with a little black kid. If this sounds foreign to you, you're probably not a brown person, but trust me--this happens all the time and not just to kids. After two sad days, the only reason I allowed him to finish the week there was when I walked him inside to spy on the third day, I saw how he lit up and ran to the only black counselor there, a young man, and when the guy made eye contact with me he gave me that universal chin-up that we understand to mean "I see you out here in this white world--I see you and I got you." I left and called my BFF, also mom to a black boy out here in these suburban streets, who shared my relief and moved on with life. I digress. Zack came home from Day 2 of camp, and this happened:

"I Wish I Had Some Friends"

And this happened the same day. The following song is a combination of him wishing he wasn't afraid of flies and, in my opinion, his subconscious desire to be different--because maybe if he were different somehow or more like the at the YMCA who all looked similar to each other, maybe they would want to play with him the way they play with each other. Just my opinion due to the timing. 

"I Wish I Was A Grown Up (Insect)"

These songs happen all the time around my house. I have others on tape that I don't share, but every once in a while, he sings something insanely poignant and maybe catchy and I interrupt and ask him if I can record him. He has only objected once.  

Look: Searching for Shaniqua Documentary

What's in a name? Depends on who you ask. 

There is a new documentary in the works by writer Phill Branch called Searching for Shaniqua that explores how black Americans are perceived and treated by each other based on the original and/or unique names many of us have. I have always found conversations about this topic interesting and am glad to see a black filmmaker broaching the subject. 

Black Americans exist because our ancestors where ripped up by their roots, brought here and enslaved. They were systematically stripped bare of their cultures and languages and religions and taught that everything about them--their languages, customs, religions, hair and names was wrong. Which leaves us where we are today-- embracing negative stereotypes and attitudes about our people, particularly those of us with names that are different. Most black Americans have roots that are not clearly defined, yet we largely don't embrace names that are as much without clear roots or origins as we are. Why?

On Indiewire.com's blog Shadow and Act (On Cinema Of The African Diaspora), Phill Branch is quoted:

"When you hear the name Shaniqua, what usually comes to mind first? I've found that in my social and professional circles, the words ghetto and tacky were often associated with that particular name. A few years back, after a conversation about baby names that spiraled into a deconstruction of race and class in America, I began to question why so many people have discomfort with certain names. After having similar conversations with people from all walks of life, I began to realize the importance of naming as it relates to profiling, bullying and self-esteem. As a professor at a HBCU, I ran across every kind of name that you can imagine. In academia, a place where race and class intersect, my awareness of how names impact people’s lives became even more heightened. In classrooms that were diverse, but largely black, students were sometimes surprised by how much of their thinking about themselves was based on negative stereotypes. In rooms filled with people of color, race wasn’t a dividing line, but social class was."

This documentary explores how we, black people, perceive and treat each other based on our names. If a black person has a name that isn't common or English or Bible-based, and they are American, are there preconceived notions about what their family is like or their hireability? What if their nationality is African, and they speak with an accent? Are we more forgiving of unfamiliar names in the presence of an African accent versus an American one? How does the experience of black men with eccentric names differ from that of black females with names like Shaniqua? 

So many questions. Who knows what will come of reaching the answers, but only good can come from having the conversation. I, for one, am grateful to Phill for working on this project and hope he gets the funding to continue. 

Here's a teaser trailer for the still in production Searching for Shaniqua. 

Read more about Phill's efforts, keep up with events and donate to his crowdfunding page on Indiegog here. 

Also, check out the interview where he talks to The Root about the personal politics of “black” names here.

P.S. *ahem*, Phill Branch is like a brilliant brother to my awesome-brilliant sister, and because he loves her in all the ways that really count, I kinda love him too even though I've never met him in person. This is a super important project and I can't wait to see the final cut.