HomeGirl

Fashion Friday: Butterfly Things!

Hi. My name is Raquel. I'm 31 (or 32? I honestly can't remember), and I still love butterflies. Can't help it. I have butterfly jewelry, hoodies, tops, hair clips...I'm even contemplating a new butterfly tattoo! I fell in love with them as a girl, like most girls do. Back then, I loved them just because they're pretty. Now, I think I'm drawn to them more because of what they represent: beauty, transformation, freedom. A few years ago, I blogged about listening to a song by Corinne Bailey Rae (note to self--find her album on iPod and hit play/repeat during my drive today) called "Butterfly" and simultaneously seeing and hearing "butterfly" and how I felt it was a sign of some kind. When I have moments like that, I feel like such a twelve year-old. In some ways I feel like that's a good thing. Twelve year-olds dream with a kind of hopeful naivety that I miss sometimes. Although I'm in my 30's now and have traded doodling butterflies on my notebooks in school for sketching potential butterflies tattoos, I still wear them  whenever I can. My favorite everyday butterfly thing is a gold pendant necklace like the one pictured below. My favorite special butterfly thing is a diamond and sapphire pendant necklace my husband gave me on  my 30th birthday (one or two years ago--seriously, I need to check the dates to figure out how old I am). Here are some sweet butterfly things for my fellow butterfly-loving homegirls.

Items in this set:

Wetseal.com blouse, $19; Pewter/Yellow Butterfly Print T-Shirt, 16 GBP; Cocoeve flats, $88; Tory Burch bag, $375;Alex Monroe necklace, $130;Enamel Butterfly Bangle, $42;Butterfly Brass & Topaz Hues Hair Clip $16; Butterfly Computer Sleeve, $45

5 Things I didn't expect to hear today...

1. "Oh, Jesus!" From my 20 month old son as he was finishing his breakfast. He was trying to get that last scoop of oatmeal from the bottom of the bowl and belted the words out. He also says, "Oh boy" at times...and once he said, "Oh shit." These are phrases that, apparently, are used way too frequently by the grown-ups in this house. We really need to work on better phrases.

2. "Your dog is in my garage."
3. "I have your dog."
4. "I found your dogs."
5. "I have your dogs, please call me."

Phrases 2-5 all came from four different neighbors, who live on four different blocks, on the same day. We never check our voice mail on our house phone. I'm not even sure why we still have a house phone. This morning I decided to check the 29 calls we had missed over the past month or so and got all the dog messages, one after the other. Okie and Stella, are huge, black Labrador-Newfoundland mutts, which could seem threatening if seen running towards you at top speed, which they totally do when they're out. I'm glad we live in a dog-happy neighborhood and that we have their names, address and phone number on their tags. I recall coming home one day--weeks ago--to find one of our dogs lounging under the tree in our front yard and the other balled up on the welcome mat at the front door. We forgot to lock the back fence and they know how to open it. I knew they must have run around the neighborhood like crazy dogs when they got out, because they where way to laid back for my taste. Guess I was right.

Essence Magazine: The Root of the Issue

I am slowly making my way through the November 2009 issue of Essence Magazine. GREAT articles. I recommend The Root of the Issue starting on page 137. On their website, Essence describes this conversation between singer Solange Knowles; singer Ledisi; TV host Tanika Ray; celebrity hairstylist Ursula Stephen; and writer and producer Tonya Lewis Lee as provocative, hilarious and heartbreaking at moments, and I could not agree more. Essence Magazine, can we please have more of these conversation pieces? At one point when Ledisi was talking about how she reacted to seeing herself as beautiful for the first time, I was nodding and cosigning as if I where right there on the sofa next to her. A friend of mine reacted the same way as she read some of Nia Long's comments. And Solange is so smart and funny! I already knew that since she's one of the few celebrities that I follow on Twitter. Getting to "hear" her in a conversation like this was like confirmation. We could totally be friends in real life. I mean that. *hoping I don't sound like a crazy stalker or whatever because it's SO not like that.* Moving on. Readers get to be a fly on the wall as these smart, beautiful black women discuss their relationships with their hair with insights into the broader topic of our standards of beauty. There is laughter and there are tears--y'all know we can turn on the waterworks when we get into these types of discussions. I really enjoyed reading it and was disappointed when it was over. Have you read it? You should.

Winner! Funky Coco Bead Earrings by ShaNic Design!

Y'all there where 104 eligible entries to this giveaway!

I hope those of you who entered and who only visited ShaNic Design's Etsy shop saw some things over there that you liked. I loved the earrings I bought, which is why I wanted to introduce her to you in the first place. I knew you would like her shop. Lucky for one of you guys, she agreed to let me host a giveaway of this pair.

Congratulations to #20, Melissa W.! Your number was selected using random.org.

Thanks again to everyone who entered and best of luck to you everybody else in upcoming giveaways!

I have some awesome ones coming just in time for the holidays!

Super Z!

Today, one red balloon. Tomorrow, The Universe! Hehe.

My baby loved being Super Zack this weekend. He handed his costume to me this morning and said, "Super Zack? Thank you." So I'm going to let him be Super Zack today too. I think everybody will feel much safer on the playground and in the grocery store with Super Z around.

Fashion Friday: Let's talk about sequins.

While Beyoncé and Carrie from Sex and the City and maybe Cher circa 1982 would look right at home sequined from head to toe, it takes some careful thought for most of us regular girls (if I may speak for you) to pull it off. Not that we'd ever need to be sequined from head to toe, but we might be in the mood to sparkle a little bit along with the rest of the stars this fall.

This Fashion Friday post was a challenge, because I'm not one for shine unless it's on my lips or on my fro. But I wanted to give sequins a chance. Most of the time I dress for comfort. I wear jeans (structured ones) to church...sometimes even with my chucks. I don't dress to draw attention to myself, rather to look cute and decent should someone's eyes land on me. So choosing sequined pieces to potentially add to my fuss-free wardrobe took some work, but I found some that I would actually wear and still look like HomeGirl Quel.

Sequins make a statement, but are wearable everyday if the statement is small. Start with very simple pieces like the black t-shirt dress or black skinny-jeans and white tank I have chosen here:

Items in this set: Premium Sequin Blazer, $124, Betsey Johnson 'Law' Pump, $150, Monsoon Flutterby Butterfly Multi Sequin Clutch, $49, Juicy Couture | Sequined silk scarf | NET-A-PORTER.COM, $204, Black Sequin Ladder Beanie, $20

Then simply add one sequined accessories to finish the look. I chose the short, black t-shirt dress because of the red sequined heels I found. Shoes like those deserve to be showcased along with a good pair of legs...y'all know how I have a thing for my legs. The dress is plain enough to allow the shoe to shine, and simple enough for a plain dresser like me to wear flashy heels, yet not look like I'm playing dress up. Similarly, the sequined blazer or scarf can top a plain white tank and black skinny-jeans without making a fuss. I'd pair the blazer with a pair of black boots or pumps. With the scarf or the beanie, black and white high-top chucks will work every time.

See?! Sequins are doable. How would you do sequins? Or would you?

Coffee with coconut milk is my new jam.

I brewed some coffee this morning then realized I was out of canned milk--my creamer of choice. I use to drink regular milk in my coffee, but my husband uses canned milk in his tea (I think it's common in the West Indies where he's from), and eventually I started using it in my coffee. It's a staple in our pantry right alongside coconut milk, which we use for cooking. I have tried soy milk with my coffee, but am not a fan. So I tried the coconut milk because I was not going to not drink my coffee and I could not drink it black.

Y'all, fresh, hot coffee plus raw sugar plus coconut milk equals pure awesomeness. It's not pretty though. Coconut milk is kind of grainy and it separates in the coffee so it does not make a creamy blend, unless maybe you use a little cow's milk, which I might do the next time.

While happily sipping away, I googled to see if other people are drinking coconut milk in their coffee and of course they are. I ran across a few good recipes worth trying. I'm looking forward to trying this recipe, which I found it on grouprecipes.com, especially now that it's cold outside.

Spicy Coffee With Coconut Milk

16 oz freshly brewed coffee of your choice
1 tbsp dried chili flakes
1 dried clove
1 stick of cinnamon
4 oz coconut milk
Ice (if desired)
Sweeteners or honey (if desired)

Directions:

1. Make your coffee.
2. Bundle the spices in a little cheesecloth and throw it into your coffee pot so it can steep as the coffee drips.
3. After 4-6 minutes of steeping with the spices, remove the spice pouch.
4. If icing, allow coffee to cool for a few minutes or pour it over ice to speed up the process.
5. Pour coffee into four glasses, adding ice if desired. Add coconut milk to each glass and enjoy!

This happened because I'm awesome. I mean that sarcastically...but then sort of literally.

So I'm just getting home from a day at the park with my son. It's 2 in the afternoon. As soon as I get him down for his nap, I hear a knock at the door. It's Mr. Incredible--you know, my perfect neighbor guy? If you don't recall my post about him, click on his name to catch up. Anyway, so he's at the door. Normally I don't open the door when I'm home alone, but it's Mr. Incredible, so of course I open the door. He wants lawnmower gas. He's almost done with his yard and ran out of gas so I told him to meet me at the garage, I'd check to see if my husband had any. Closed the door. Locked it.

I go through my laundry room and open the garage. Mr. Incredible enters the garage to inspect the gas containers. One of them has gas. He thanks me. We're gossiping about our Mormon neighbors with twin boys who had an ambulance, firetruck and two police cars blocking everyone's house the other day as I'm walking him out of the garage and closing it. And locking it. I am now locked out of the house. My 20 month old son is now locked inside asleep in his crib. That's what I get for gossiping. As soon as I hear the garage door lock, I stare blankly at Mr. Incredible and say, "I just totally locked myself out of the house." Of course, he's Mr. Incredible, so he tries to open the locked garage, convinced that he has a trick. I'm surprised that it does not work. I tell him I have my cell phone on me and am sure the back door is open--I'm not. He goes back to his yard work and tells me to come get him if I need anything.

Makeup Monday: Go Natural!

Whew! As you may already know, I saw Good Hair this weekend. Y'all, when I saw what sodium hydroxide, the active ingredient in chemical hair relaxers, did to that poor innocent piece of chicken? It made me wonder how many of us actually question the ways in which we systematically poison our bodies and those of our children knowingly or unknowingly. I only used chemical relaxers for about 6 years, between age 13 and 18...and twice over the past 12 years during my natural hair journey. I'm glad to be off relaxers completely now, but can't help but wonder what, if any, long-term effects exposure to those chemicals may have caused me. Is that a major downer or what? Basically, I said all that to say, I'm inspired to go natural...for a minute.

Today's Makeup Monday post is not about makeup...or hair for that matter. Relaxed or natural, we can ALL go natural without sacrificing a good hair day.  I love my lotions and potions containing ingredients that I can't pronounce as much as the next girl, but let's think about taking a break. I'm talking about giving our hair and skin and insides a break--even just for a day--and getting back to the basics of natural beauty. Walk with me.

Here are a few of my natural favorites that have me feeling as one with nature as Eve before the apple:

Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap- Add a capful of this oil-based liquid soap in Peppermint to soak tired feet, use some in Lavender to a relaxing bath, deep clean your scalp with the Tea Tree oil version or just get plain clean from head to toe using the fragrance-free Baby Mild solution. 

Olive Oil- Go ahead and use it like they did in the bible days! Cook with it. Dress your scalp and hair with it. Caress your body with it. You'll be like butter from head to toe. Naturally.

Jojoba Oil- This is the oil found in nature that most closely mimics the oil naturally produced by your scalp. So it's the oil that your hair likes the most, so give it some! Then go ahead and use it on your cuticles, lips and face at night for amazingly soft and healthy skin.

Bigelow Organic Green Tea- Thank goodness this natural leaf hasn't been outlawed. Buy it openly and in abundance. And drink it often. Never mind that green tea has been used for thousands of years in Asia medicinally, regular consumption has been proven to lower cholesterol and support weight loss. Hello? Weight Loss.

I'm not suggesting going 100% natural all the time (although I know some beautiful ladies who do make that awesome commitment and trust me, they GLOW), but I am suggesting taking a day or two...like Saturday and Sunday, to give it all a rest and get back down to basics, inside and out. Your body will love it. And it won't hurt!

Just Felt This Flick (but not in the good way): Good Hair

If I had seen the actual preview for the film before going to see it, I might have been prepared for what I was about to see. But I didn't see the preview, which has a very lighthearted, comedic edge. Going into the film, I had only read bloggers' reviews and overheard conversations about the Oprah episode and the backlash from women who where not pleased with the film. So I went in expecting too much, I think. 

The documentary, Good Hair, was supposed to be a look into the black woman's quest for "good hair", but it should have been promoted as a look into everything you never thought you ever wanted to know about The Annual Bronner Brothers Hair Show, with a few segments about chemical relaxers and the hair weave industry in India. It's a good documentary for what it is--a Chris Rock comedy. Not sure I agree with the rave reviews. After watching it, I'm just annoyed. I guess you can visit a couple of hair salons in a couple of cities and interview a few Hollywood actresses and claim to have lifted the veil of mystery behind back women and their hair issues. Whatever, if that's what you want to claim--free country and all that, but it's just annoying.

Fashion Friday: It's A Wrap!

Wrap sweaters deliver instant style--a cool edge to your look with as little effort as just throwing them on. They take on a different shape every time you wrap them, so it's like many sweaters in one. More importantly for those of us with a little more up top, there is no sweater more flattering than wraps. My philosophy when it comes to sporting big boobs: either flaunt 'em or camouflage 'em, but don't just lug 'em around. Before I discovered wrap sweaters, I was a lugger--a standard cardigan girl, and those things are so unflattering on a girl like me with more up top and less everywhere else.

That's me in the picture...looking wrapalicious at Blogalicious 2009. I think I ended up wearing this Old Navy sweater to every daytime event while I was there, because it goes with EVERYTHING, even in green! I dressed it down here with dark-rinse skinny jeans, a white tank and black ankle boots,  and later dressed it up with tan wool crepe J. Crew slacks, a pomegranate top and heels. I even rocked it with boot-cuts and chucks on the plane ride home. I liked this look so much that I actually went back and got the same sweater in black! 

Above: Splendid Cape Wrap $87 - piperlime.com;Roll-Up Wrap Sweater $40 - Old Navy;Loose wrap blouse -$688- brownsfashion.com

Tip for my HomeGirls: When you find something you like, especially a high-style, reasonably priced classic like the one I'm wearing here, go ahead and get it in at least two colors. Definitely a DO with jeans. We all know that jeans that fit perfectly are a gem, so when you find the ones that hug you just right, buy two pair or even three of the same ones if they're on sale. That way, you won't have to wash and wear one pair to death. When they're beyond that chic, broken-in point, you can pull out a fresh pair and keep it moving.